Permission to Feel

"More than any other book on human feelings, Permission to Feel integrates psychological research, educational practice, and compelling stories, including Marc Brackett’s own life experiences, to make emotional intelligence come alive. This is one book that leaders, educators, parents, students, and researchers will all find valuable . . . and fun to read."—Peter Salovey, President of Yale University and Chris Argyris Professor of Psychology

"We often create a false dichotomy between thinking and feeling. In this dichotomy, thinking is important, strong, and adaptive, but feeling is not. Marc Brackett shows us how emotions and our ability to feel, understand, and use them are key to fulfilling our potential."—Carol Dweck, Author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success and Professor of Psychology, Stanford University

"Permission to Feel is a deeply insightful and compelling examination of one of the most important but ignored dimensions of the human experience. In his honest, funny, and illuminating way, Marc Brackett helps us to understand how emotions influence our health, performance, and overall well-being, and how we can leverage their power to transform our lives.”—Vivek Murthy, MD, MBA, 19th Surgeon General of the United States

"A compelling and complete journey that delivers on its promise of giving us permission to feel. Marc Brackett shows us that emotional intelligence is not a gift but a skill—one that we can all learn, and benefit from immensely."—Angela Duckworth, Author of Grit, CEO, Character Lab, and Professor of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania

“This book is groundbreaking, eye opening, practical, and perhaps even life changing. Weaving together powerful stories and provocative research, Marc Brackett brilliantly conveys how social and emotional skills can improve the quality of our lives, relationships, and work. With compassion, humor, and wisdom Brackett shares perspectives that challenge us all to be better people.”—Roger Weissberg, Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Psychology, University of Illinois at Chicago; Chief Knowledge Officer, Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning

“There is a dire need to cultivate social and emotional skills in our nation’s youth. That starts with cultivating emotional intelligence in everyone involved in the education of children. Permission to Feel lays a framework for what adults need to learn in order to support children—and themselves—in achieving academic and life success.”—Carmen Fariña, Chancellor Emeritus, New York City Department of Education

"[M]akes a persuasive case that our feelings aren’t impediments but provide important information that can change of our lives for the better—when we give ourselves permission to feel them . . . Leaders, educators, parents, students, and researchers will find value in this informative book."—Tara Well, Barnard College, Psychology Today

"In business, we are often pressured to withhold or suppress emotions, ultimately creating toxic environments and interpersonal conflict. In Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett teaches essential skills and tools for bringing our best selves forward. The results? Enhanced personal and professional outcomes, and healthier and more engaging workplaces. A must-read for every entrepreneur and their investors."—Deborah Quazzo, Managing Partner GSV AcceleraTE Fund

“An intriguing approach to identifying and relating to one’s emotions . . . [Brackett] presents a five-step method he calls R.U.L.E.R.: We need to recognize our emotions, understand what has caused them, be able to label them with precise terms and descriptions, know how to safely and effectively express them, and be able to regulate them in productive ways. The author walks readers through each step and provides an intriguing tool to use to help identify a specific emotion. Brackett introduces a four-square grid called a Mood Meter, which allows one to define where an emotion falls based on pleasantness and energy. He also uses four colors for each quadrant: yellow for high pleasantness and high energy, red for low pleasantness and high energy, green for high pleasantness and low energy, and blue for low pleasantness and low energy. The idea is to identify where an emotion lies in this grid in order to put the R.U.L.E.R. method to good use. The author’s research is wide-ranging, and his interweaving of his personal story with the data helps make the book less academic and more accessible."—Kirkus Reviews

"Brackett examines how acknowledging one’s emotions can create confidence and promote mental health in this provocative, accessible work. Brackett uses his own life story—he was bullied and sexually molested as a child—to demonstrate the toxicity of repression and how the openness and attention of his uncle eventually gave him 'permission to feel' again. With a primary focus on helping adults teach children emotional intelligence, Brackett encourages readers to accept and evaluate their emotions (both positive and negative). He then explains his R.U.L.E.R. technique—recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotion—and recommends adults teach these steps to children as a means for dealing with stress or trauma. He emphasizes that stress can negatively impede a child’s creativity and memory and encourages negative behaviors such as poor diet and, eventually, smoking. While Brackett focuses on educational and child-based applications for his methods, his wise principles can easily be applied to adult situations as well. Readers looking for strategies for responding to stress, particularly in children, will find much guidance in this cogent, welcoming work.”—Publishers Weekly