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I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

A Memoir

Bloomsbury Publishing

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opens in a new window I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki Download image

ISBN10: 1635579384
ISBN13: 9781635579383

Hardcover

208 Pages

$24.00

CA$32.00

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PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?

ME: I don't know, I'm—what's the word—depressed? Do I have to go into detail?


Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her—what to call it?—depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?

Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.

Reviews

Praise for I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

“Earnest . . . clever . . . [Baek Sehee] uses months of (real) transcripts from her therapy sessions to explore her own depression and anxiety, always tiptoeing toward something like self-awareness.”Chicago Tribune

“An eye-opening view into a person's most vulnerable moments in a new way.”Cosmopolitan

“A testament to the gradual nature of therapy's cumulative healing effects, I Want to Die should resonate with anyone who eagerly transcribes every nugget of advice they get.”Buzzfeed

"[I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki] is a therapeutic salve . . . Recommended by K-pop juggernaut BTS's RM, Sehee's memoir is a connective tissue for all of us looking for a silver lining."PopSugar

“For readers feeling a little icy around the edges, [Sehee's] memoir promises to defrost.”Wired.com

"Compelling . . . there is a fascination being inside the counseling room with [Sehee]. We feel we are a party to a sacred realm and find ourselves drawn to her testimony; mesmerized by her ability to keep thwarting herself from getting better. And we want her to get better."Books & Film Globe

“At once personal and universal, this book is about finding a path to awareness, understanding, and wisdom.”Kirkus Reviews

“With candor and humor, Baek offers readers and herself resonant moments of empathy.”Booklist

“Honest and authentic throughout . . . A sincere attempt at self-discovery that will resonate with young people who suffer from similar forms of depression and anxiety”Library Journal

“Candid . . . heartfelt . . . Sehee's mission to normalize conversation about mental illness is an admirable one.”Publishers Weekly